Death By Hope Streaming Player

Saturday, August 22, 2015

Devil Down


This song was written by my buddy Larry Greer on drums and a friend of his, Ian Murphy on guitar.  The music was absolutely great and he was cool enough to let me attempt vocals on it.  I still need to add bass to the first half of the song, but it seems like it's coming along.


silence is the worst form of cowardice

 enslave and you rape 

and the world ignores it again 
when will we wake up? 
when will we take action? 
this happens every time 

war on women? 
civil rights? 
pedophiles? 
discrimination? 

we'd rather put a stupid rainbow on our facebook pic 
than take 5 minutes to seek out the truth

silence is the worst form of cowardice

when it comes to users 
you wear the crown 
and when you fall it's just 
one more devil down

isis is evil in it's purest form 
this is the war for which we've been born

and to the apathetic hollywood elites 
WHERE THE FUCK ARE YOU NOW!?

when it comes to users 
you wear the crown 
and when you fall it's just 
one more devil down

When All is Sorrow (rough mix)


This is not really one of my songs.  My buddy Larry wrote and recorded this and was cool enough to let me toy with vocals on it.  I'm not settled on this yet, but this is a rough hack.


the things i overcome that keep me numb my life wasted on stupid dreams
i spent my life always on the run time to set aside childish things
trapped myself with promises I regret the mistakes i make when i agree
i'm meant to go with the wind on a whim, just unchained and free
i'm trapped by indecision now struggling to be the best i can be
but i'm smothered by expectation to be someone other than me
witness now the change of heart as cold as stone, it cannot bleed
i'm shutting down now to survive
i'm shutting off so i can breathe

time does not feel the same when all is sorrow
 when all is sorrow

do you think you can tame me use me just to change me
i can't save you i'm moving onward
now
i will not be your exit out
because
i can't save you i'm moving onward
i'm not your rewind i'm not your lifeline
i can't save you i'm moving onward
don't pin your hopes on me in the end you'll always see
i can't save you i'm moving onward

can you stand on your own two feet
without me, without love, can you be
the best version of yourself
not defined by someone else
who you are, who you were,
who you'll be
can you be you, without me?
cause i'm not always going to be here
you can't live your life paralyzed in fear
so i'm moving on so you can learn to stand
and when you find yourself I'll come back again
but until that day this is how far I'll go
cause time does not feel the same
when all is sorrow

Wednesday, June 17, 2015

Salience


After 15 years, I had my life ripped from under me
How could it be? I couldn't see, I planned so fucking carefully
Depression set in, I let it win, but it was temporary
My mesolimbic pathway overflows with dopamine
I was driven! Unstoppable!  I was fucking obsessed!
To climb my way back up, I'd be fucking relentless!
So, started at the bottom, pushed myself past my limits.
Ignored the pain from over strain, gave it all I could give it.

Years passed, life changed and now I find I'm here again
The rat race, a job I hate, my time is not my own again
I've been here before, yet repeat my mistakes?
Did I expect a different outcome? A life I could take?
Insanity.  Expecting different results
I need to break out of my prison of faults.
I'm my own man, now it's time that I live it
I need to take risks and give it all I can give it

You'd think that I'd know by now
That I succeed out of habit
To create a new life for myself
I need to just reach out and grab it

This is the only way that I can repair my fate

I will overcome the expectations of this world

Nice house, two cars, debt, white picket fence
Credit cards, more bills, living just to pay the rent
Friday night, go out, spend more than I take home
When life get tough, the government will pay my loan
That isn't me, I'm not a clone, I can't sit still
I need to live on the move, I also pay my fucking bills
No help, no hands out, leave that for the weak
No suburban mediocrity, leave that for the sheep
I've done it once, and I'll do it again
Break out of this routine and be my own fucking man
If there's one thing I know, it's life isn't fair
And no matter where it takes, you, it'll never be there
I've always done things my own way
That's how I'll always be
It's not that I'm stubborn
It's that man was meant to be free

I will overcome the expectations of this world

*recording notes - Music recorded in Pro-Tools.  Schecter Damian used to record guitar, Sansamp in Pro-Tools used for distortion.  EB-0 used for bass.  Zoom 234 used to direct line recorded.  Vocals recorded in Ardour using Heil PR-20 in my car in the upper parking lot of Snoqualmie Falls.

Their Web of Lies


Their web of lies
The lies they keep on telling you
Spinning truth
Drowning in prop they keep selling you
Robbing you
Of the hours of your one and only life
Breeding contempt, distrust
Fomenting strife
And what's the price?
The cost of shrugging blame
The cost of the avoiding shame
The cost of their slavers game
The road to hell is paved with good intent
But if you refuse to step up
We'll all default on the rent
We may all be in this together
But you use me like a check so you can spend forever

You don't ask me for permission
You just assume and forcefully take
And when I fight to keep something for myself,
you claim I'm evil for keeping what I make
You want your living off the labors of others
Condescend to us about how we're all brothers
A brother wouldn't hold a gun to my head for wealth
No destroy my property or sacrifice my health
You can't force compliance and pretend it's success
That's how dictators think, a bully at best
You can't drown our children while claiming its fine
Now they're smothered in debt and running out of time
The clock is ticking, the end is near
The world enslaved in poverty and fear
They us blame to divide us, while they cower and hide
And we're destroying ourselves in their web of lies

*recording notes - Music recorded in Pro-Tools.  Guitar was a Schecter Damian 7-string.  Sansamp in Pro-Tools for the distortion.  Zoom 234 for drums, direct line recorded.  EB-0 for bass.  Recorded vocals in Ardour using a Heil PR-20 in my car, on the overlook up the road from Dirt Fish Rally School.

Head Down


When life throws you to the ground
Keep your head down and you'll get through it
When your luck is fading and your chips are down
Keep your head down and you'l get through it
When you're tired of waiting and no answers are found
Keep your head down and you'll get through it
When constant rejection is the only sound
Keep your head down and you'll get through it

'Life's a bitch and then you die'
The clarion call of the over-trivialized
Cynics and hipsters that forever frown
And if you let them, they will drag you down
They live to be miserable, belittle and mock
But in their rantings, don't take much stock
They want the drama cause they love to act
Emotion's more important than logic or fact

Let them make their bad choices and let it
Go, go, go, go
They're always be in need of a helping hand just
Go, go, go, go
Or they'll pull you down with them like a drowning man don't
Go, go, go, go
They need to find their own two legs and stand so
Go, go, go, go

When life throws you to the ground
Keep your head down and you'll get through it
When your luck is fading and your chips are down
Keep your head down and you'l get through it
When you're tired of waiting and no answers are found
Keep your head down and you'll get through it
When constant rejection is the only sound
Keep your head down and you'll get through it
 
Let them make their bad choices and let it
Go, go, go, go
They're always be in need of a helping hand just
Go, go, go, go
Or they'll pull you down with them like a drowning man don't
Go, go, go, go
They need to find their own two legs and stand so
Go, go, go, go

*recording notes - Music recorded in Pro-Tools.  Guitar was a Schecter Damian 7-string.  Sansamp in Pro-Tools for the distortion.  Zoom 234 for drums, direct line recorded.  EB-0 for bass.  Recorded vocals in Ardour using a Heil PR-20 in my car, on the overlook up the road from Dirt Fish Rally School.

Breathe


When each day feels like it's worse than the one before
When you're running on empty and everyone wants to take more, more, more
Can we just take a minute to breathe?
To beat them, you have to put your nose to the grindstone and repeat

I'm not giving up
Not giving up
Giving up my dreams

It doesn't matter
What they say
They're just fragile
and so afraid
It makes them lash out
It makes them cruel
But in the end
They're just your tool

When you feel like your life is no longer your own
When every hour of every day is spent for others, even when you're home
Can we just take a minute to breathe?
Learn to take time out for yourself and repeat

I'm not giving up
Not giving up
Giving up my dreams

When pressure builds in your temples it feels like time has slowed
When you feel like one wrong word from someone and you're going to explode
Can we just take a minute to breathe?
Don't waste your time on them, just remember to repeat

I'm not giving up
Not giving up
Giving up my dreams

It doesn't matter
What they say
They're just fragile
and so afraid
It makes them lash out
It makes them cruel
But in the end
They're just your tool

*recording notes - Music recorded in M-Audio version of Pro-Tools.  Drums mapped individually from Zoom 234, drum bank 4, one hit at a time, then the drum beat was created inside Pro-Tools.  Bass was direct line recorded with an EB-0.  Guitar was a Dillon acoustic/electric guitar, using Sansamp distortion in Pro-Tools.  Vocals were recorded in the upper parking lot of Snoqualmie Falls, in my 2009 Ford Focus, using a Heil PR-90 in Ardour through an M-Audio Fast Track. 

Monday, May 18, 2015

The Road I've Traveled


And the road I've traveled
Well it keeps me hanging on
And I don't stop for nothing
Just a learning right from wrong
Life will stop for no one
and you will never sleep
Unless we search for answers 
Already at our feet, yeah

Doesn't matter what I do
Or where I stay, I'm always
Anxious to keep moving on, moving on
This never-ending unrest burdens me
It's like an hour glass in my soul
driving me forever onward

I see my face in the mirror getting older
Seasons passing as I blink my eyes
And still this restlessness tears at me
And no matter how far I run, I know I can't hide

I gotta go!
My soul screams at me
Am I running from myself?
I don't know
This just can't be
The only life I have

The only thing I know is I just
gotta go, gotta go, gotta go!

I've gotta go!

*Recording details: I used my Dillon acoustic/electric guitar direct line into Pro Tools.  The distortion on the acoustic is the native Pro Tools Sansamp, Rockstar setting.  I used an EB-0 bass direct line into Pro Tools, and the drums are from a kit I created using the 4th kit on my Zoom ...234 drum machine, sampling each piece individual into Pro Tools and laying them that way.  I used a Heil PR-20 for vocals in 2012 for Tom and then again in 2015 for myself when I completed the song using my car as a vocal booth.